Saturday, December 18, 2010

My Taekwondo Romance II

It's about 6 more month until I celebrated a historical day in my Taekwondo life, a day which I will be celebrating 'something' of which I will tell you again when the time comes... heh heh!

But for today, and largely for the majority of this year actually, I was thinking of quitting Taekwondo!

It is of course would be a drastic decision if I really taken it, especially to those who knows me precisely and know how passionate I am towards the sport, the art...

The thing is this is not easy, and would never be an easy decision, even now I just thinking of it, not actually doing it... Maybe there were certain factors which I think could rationalize my decision, if I ever actually take one...


Dead End

Taekwondo has become increasingly a dead end to me. Nowhere to go, can't go further, certainly ain't turning back... I'm good at it, but never good enough.There's so much room for improvement, but hardly anything else to be learn. I think the main issue is that I find that there is no longer something new this art could offer me. Though its discipline, philosophy, techniques and its art is something I took seriously and proudly and never grew tired of it, but there were only a room for more practice/training, which, at the current level, I can just do it myself without relying on master or club...

The training, maybe, become increasingly dragging and drought out to the extend that I don't see me progressing in my martial arts and self-defense skill in it anymore...

Quitting and change to something new (martial arts) is the only way I see to broaden my perspective in these two areas...


Chaotic's Politic

So much political struggle in associations (clubs or national body) that even a member as detach as me can feel the uncertainty and chaos around it... Maybe people should learn to simplify things and don't give in to greed, but maybe that's a story for another day...

The world body itself wasn't any much help either. Too much concentrating in upbringing the art (and sport) in Korea's motherland of the art only, and almost disregard other members within it around the globe. This is evident through the accusation by the doubters that many clubs in Americas and Europe with their main purpose are to make money, rather than focusing on increasing the quality of the art. I can't say for sure about the phenomena of McDojo (the terms given to these kind of Taekwondo's schools) in Malaysia, but there were surely some instructors, if not clubs, who actually did all these. I am lucky enough not to become a student of any of them though...

About the world body again, the World Taekwondo Federation (WTF), even though I've been made understood by my current master that WTF is developing the art so that its actually benefit the Koreans people, one way or another, and to actually protect their national pride within the sport, I can't help myself to feel, at times, that the International body is killing the the vast expanding of the art and all of it's philosophy if they're repeating to only benefit the Koreans.

With all due respect, it IS their art though, which made the change will be hard to come by, especially by a non-Koreans. That will serve as another major factor for me to consider quitting the association...


To Unlearn the Learned...

In this world, one has to make sacrifice to be success. One has to make bold decision at times... One has to let go the most precious thing/person he or she ever possessed just so that they can either find something better, or realized how great the thing they used to have. Either way, it makes one stronger!

It make one focus become more sharp, make them realize of what do they really want in their lives. At times, it give us the NEW MOTIVATION... Now, my friends, that is what I'm lacking...

To unlearn what have been learned is to purify ourselves again. Again becoming the innocent 'white sheet' baby. To make rooms for something new to be create on 'its' surface. This is the first step to take whenever one has a desire to learn something new, especially if the root of the subject actually in the same field of the things that one has learned before.

To understand and widen out my perspective on the art's of martial art and self-defense, I have to indulge myself to other theories, techniques, philosophies and to certain extend, if needed, a new way of life...

At the end of the day I hope to grind a positive result, of becoming more understanding person, not just in the field of martial arts itself, but also about life. And the most important part of it, the people!

Well, I write too much and I didn't really give out a point...

Maybe I just sick of the way of training (currently) and seeking a new environment in which they will emphasized more on area of self-defense and martial art that wasn't really cover up by my two previous masters. The first, either consciously or unconsciously, taught me the important of the basics, and my second master show me the important of keep pushing on and raising the confident... Maybe what I hope next is something of more me... Someone who can tell me about the important of simplifying things up...

But, hey... one can't always get what he wants, right?


The Aftermath

Maybe it's just bored and loneliness of not having a training for a quite some time now, or maybe it's the case of falling out of love. The true feelings that I can tell you readers right now is that I'm feeling tired. And stall!

The thing is, this maybe just my inner self trying to scream out my frustration over the doubters of the art/sport.

Or maybe to scream out my own doubt about it...

Or maybe it's just a mere frustration over it or over the whole something else I hardly can explain...

The truth is still, I love the art, its philosophy, its techniques, its theories, its history, its discipline, and its way of life...

Maybe, after all...

I just need something new to expand and progress my own fucking self!

Life, though, goes on...


T/t: Sorry to Azx and Floe, but I just don't feel like it to do your tag... maybe on the other quantum of time and  space... :p

2 comments:

trashtalk here, beware, everything you said can and will be used against you~ LOL