Wednesday, July 25, 2012

My Happy 10th Dan's Anniversary

On this day 10 years ago, mark the day I received my 1st Dan full dubok/uniform thus make me an official Dan's holder. A very historical event on my life, beating almost every other events that ever happen to me to date. Yes, including the day I was born (which is on the same date) and most probably the day I fall in love and the day I die (which both still not happening yet).

Looking back for the past 10 years, for all of it on-and-off 'relationship' with Taekwondo. Off mostly due to no training center that I can join, most notably during my matriculation year (which lasted 10 months) and my after-graduated year...

After 10 long years, I am now a proud holder of 3rd Dan (and still counting!), something I guess not many people would ever think that I can manage it. Even before I started it, there was doubt over me. I was deemed never good enough! I was laughed at, told that I will never even have hope to pass my first white belt grading! That I was clueless, not athletic enough to ever graced this art and sport...

They never let me be. The criticism never stop. The trashtalk upon my ability was something continuous. My physic give away some sort of body language that this is not my field. My ability is something that always be in doubt! The naysayers never stop!

I proved them wrong, over and over again. They can't never stop me, nothing will except God Himself!

To even started the journey as a Taekwondoist isn't something simple. It almost ended without even started. I guess it almost true to everyone, but to think back, if it wasn't for circumstances, I wouldn't even think of myself learning any martial art, let alone Taekwondo! That's how funny life can be. We can sometimes dying to get something we want, but could never get, and easily get something that we didn't wanted.

But sometimes, we were tested to something that we thought we didn't want, but somehow now, couldn't live without...

Now, does the haters fade away?

Some of them yes, but the doubters stay. Every now and then I received some of the backlash, a mockery upon something I do and very love to do it. I had endured worse, but most probably the worst part was that nobody would believe me of what I ever achieved in this field. To their defense though, my achievement isn't something that worth to be called up upon, and I am very much a lone fighter. Those who knows me without dubok mostly aren't the one who know me with it. Thus the gap...

But thank you for all of them cause their hates and their doubts are something that kept me going, get me stronger! One more word of your mockery is another reason for me to get better in it!

For what ever will happens in the future and for what had happened before, for what I care is, if I ever meet my doubters again, I would say it out loud clear and proudly,

"Hey, I'm still standing!"

Sunday, July 1, 2012

I'll Be Gone

Could easily be the Linkin Park next biggest hits!



When the lights go out and we open our eyes,
Out there in the silence,

I'll be gone...

Coz I'm only here so that I can be gone somewhere else,

So that I'll be never missed,
Coz the only thing I hoped for is,
For the world not to expect any thing from me,